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FROM Thriving through Divorce:

Focus on what you do have, not on what you don't

Dear Life Coach,

I've been divorced for ten years, and am in my late 30's. For three years, I've dated a man in his 50's whose children are grown. We have a wonderful relationship, and he is great with my children, now 12 and 14. He is there for us in every way I ever hoped a man I loved would be. I would like us to move our relationship to the next level and either live together or marry. His response to my suggesting this used to be "maybe," but recently, he told me that he doesn't want to marry or live together until my children are grown. He said he will continue to do everything he can to support me through their years at home, but that he doesn't want to be a full-time step dad. I'm not sure I want to wait six more years to finally settle down with him. Do you think he's afraid of commitment, and that I should cut my losses and move on?

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